Late Summer 1999

Viagra Stops Plants From Drooping Too!

Are the weeds in the patio taking root as firmly as a pack of City Hall politicians?  All you need to do is pour boiling water along the joints.  This is also a dandy way to discourage various creepy-crawlies.  No need for special tools costing upwards of $30, plus GST and PST.  Of course, The Bard thought of it first: “dew the sovereign flower and drown the weeds” (Macbeth: Act V sc. V).

When purchasing bulbs, how do you tell good from bad?  It is simple: the bigger the bulb, the better the bloom.  Naturally, this is relative to the species- muscari, for example, are smaller than hyacinths.  If selecting daffodils and narcissus, look for those with two or three “noses” (the bulbs that make up a cluster).  The more noses, the more flowers next spring.  All these come with a price.  The better the quality, the more you can expect to pay.  The ultimate in bulbs are sold by certain specialized mail-order outlets.  If you are not -as the English say- prepared to “pay your silver and take your choice,” then look elsewhere, particularly if you are a newcomer to the gardening game.  Many garden centres have an excellent selection, which is kept dry and protected from inclement weather inside the store.  Properly planted, the “botanical” tulips will return year after year, something few other tulips can be relied upon to do.  Look for specific varieties under groups such as “greigii” and “fosteriana”.  Daffodils and narcissus are always excellent purchases, returning with minimal fuss season after season.  Like the small and dainty Scilla sibirica, they are poisonous to squirrels, who leave them strictly alone.  Scented forms such as “Suzy”, “Cheerfulness” and “Yellow Cheerfulness” should be planted along with hyacinths or muscari close to the front door or regularly used walkway.  Every time you pass, the scent wafts up to wrap around you, bringing sweet promises of things to come.

Are alliums worthwhile?  If they were sold as flowering onions, then what would you think?  That is exactly what they are, most flowering in late spring with the blooms barely noticeable unless massed in large numbers.  There are a few such as the aptly named Giant Allium that are showstoppers.  The majority, however, are nothing more than novelties.

A final note on bulbs, or at least those from Holland.  Should you be visiting that country, you will naturally be attracted to the bulbs on sale there.  Some packages will be specially tagged for green thumbers such as yourself.  Bring them back and you will face no problems at this end, according to advice received from the Netherlands Flowerbulb Information Centre.  Check prices first, however.  Holland is noted as an expensive destination.

There is still time to fertilize the lawn.  Modern research has shown that a single fertilizer application at this time will be sufficient until next May.  Other care includes watering and mowing.  During dry periods, position the sprinkler for an hour at each location.  This will apply the half-inch of water required by the garden.  Repeat every three days unless there is a prolonged rain.  When mowing, do not cut shorter than one-and-a-half to two inches.  This allows the grass to build up a thick, weed-resistant mat which, like the carpet it is, wears well too.  Elsewhere in the garden, continue to hoe or hand pull weeds before they have a chance to set seeds.  Remove all spent flowers from perennials but leave those of roses.  This encourages the rose bush to believe that winter is on its way.  Consequently, the growth will commence to “harden off”, and the bushes will be better able to withstand the cold.  For some mysterious reason garden centres never seem to stock adequate supplies of burlap and rose collars.  Both will become vital in late November (but forget about finding them then).  Why not use those Styrofoam cones instead?

Finally –and belatedly- we note that gardening is flourishing in Orillia.  Bill Keller, the Orillia Packet & Times garden columnist, recently wrote that the male impotence drug Viagra prevented his cut flowers from drooping.  No word yet as to the result when applied to zucchini.  A few weeks later, Couchiching Bay in fair Orillia received a visit from three circus elephants seeking a refreshing bathe.  Unfortunately, while doing so they deposited large quantities of dung.  One hopes the Orillia Parks Department applied it to street trees.  In garden lore it is reputed to produce sturdy trunks. 

If you have enjoyed these columns you will be interested to learn that I will instruct two popular garden courses at Rosedale Heights Secondary School on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings, commencing Oct.4, 1999.  Check your Toronto Schools Evening Courses Calendar, or call 394-1589 (fax 393-1586) for complete details.

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